Assalamualaikum,

I found that the topic in FB today centered around Malay people getting help & food from churches. Many Malay claimed that churches have been extra helpful to them in terms of charity.

One post mentioning that they are getting food from churches whereas there are none like this from mosques. I feel really sad hearing this. Because as far as I know, there are a LOT of masjid who giveaway food to people. Especially around maghrib prayers. After maghrib, tons of mosques give free food to people, so I'm not quite sure if the people who make these claims go to enough masjid or not.

The people who make these claims are Malays, complaining about other Malays. I think it's fair to say that they are targeting Malays as a race, not Islam, the religion. It is unfair though to say that there are no charity given to others by the mosques. Maybe, some mosques have rules in terms of no sleeping, no loitering, etc. But in general, I find mosques to be awesome, calm place to be in.

I suggest these people who complains a lot to try and go to a lot of mosques. Small and big ones.
I believe you will see that there are a lot of other mosques that gives free food too. You want free food right?
How about other charity, you may ask. Try and go on weekends, if you're lucky, they may have some kind of free market over at the mosques.

Do not blame the religion, but blame the race. Or rather the individual that hurt you.
That individual (Malay, I assume) has been tempted by satan to hurt your feelings and You, too, have fallen to satan's trap in feeling hurt and sharing this hurt with other people out there.
It's okay, we are human. We constantly make mistakes, every second of every day.

Allah, have mercy on all of us.

Assalamualaikum,

Innalillahiwainnahirojiun.
Just heard that a friend's child has been diagnosed with diabetes type 1. His child is about the same age as Lulu. It was just sudden. The news is heartbreaking.
But what is more heart breaking is the next story he told. They were in ICU and the next bed was a baby who had severe denggi. That baby died afterwards.
Truly heart breaking. The mother was inconsolable. Obviously.
I straightaway imagined if these things happen to my girls. But I had to force myself not to.
I had to fight myself from crying when I think about these things.

Just a week ago, Lulu recovered from denggi. We believe that it was contracted while we were in Kota Tinggi for a wedding, after considering the timeline. She first had the fever the day we landed in Perth. The day after we arrived home, I took her to the clinic and the doctor tested her for denggi. It was positive.

The doctor said that we were lucky nothing bad happened while we were in Perth.
Allah is great. At the last minute, we asked my mom to follow us to Perth so when Lulu was down with fever, we had extra hands to take care of her. She was okay in the morning but as afternoon comes, she will get so weak.

When I heard about the baby, I immediately thought about Lulu and felt so thankful and grateful to Allah for keeping her safe. I thought about myself not being a good enough mother. I thought about death and the kids, and I'm scared. I won't be able to face it. I thought about death and FF and me, and I'm scared too. I feel like I'm not fit to be in heaven and I'll surely go to hell. And then I thought about who will take care of the kids?

I try as much as I can to not be too worldly. Often, I feel like what matters is life. As much as we all want to be rich, the utmost important thing is our happiness in life. Having a lot of money will not bring you happiness if it cannot keep you happy and content. I ask Allah to give me & my family the best life for us..I just want to be content. I do ask for more rezeki from Him, but I also want Him to not give me too much if it means I will stray further away from Him.

Right now, the most precious rezeki Allah has given me is all of my family; parents, siblings, husband, kids, grandmother, etc. I can't imagine losing them, at all.

Okay, tears threatening to fall. Bye.

Assalamualaikum,

For those who know me, they know that I am a supporter of breastfeeding.
I have not stop breastfeeding since Lulu was born in 2011. Oh, there was a break between March 2013-July 2013 when I was pregnant with Mimi and had to go for Umrah.
Before that though, I was still breastfeeding Lulu. So, Lulu's breastfeeding record is 1 year and 9 months. Just 3 months shy from the full term of 2 years.

Mimi is now 2 years 2 months. And I am weaning her off. My breasts need a break! Can I finally be free? I have been trying to wean her off for few weeks already, but she would always need to breastfeed at night.
When we started, it was so hard to get her to drink formula. Mimi is really attached to me (or should I say, my boobs?). She simply cannot give up breast milk. So we tried different formulas. From Mamex, Mamil, and then we found that Mimi drank more during the Friso Gold stage. I was happy. Did we finally found the milk that Mimi approve?

NOT!

Although Mimi did drink a lot more of the Friso Gold, there was one problem. She had terrible constipation. At first, it seemed normal...later on, it was so bad that everytime her stool wanted to passed, she grimaced & do the thing you do when you berak, but the shit tak keluar pun! Terrible!
So I got her Lactul, medicine yg mcm doc bagi after give birth tu. The purpose is to melembutkan the hard stool. But I guess the hard one was already blocking the passageway for the other stool to go out...so that really hard one has to pass first.

*if you're easily grossed out, skip this paragraph*
It was a pain for her. Seriously. I heard from other mothers that their little ones had bled trying to pass the hard stool, but I can't stand to see Mimi fighting the "stool battle", so when she had that passing feeling again, I put her in a crouching position, and I myself got that hard thing out for her. She was kinda crying and said, "Mama...sakit, sakit." But when it was all out, I knew she was relieved. Afterwards, the next two three times she berak, the stool was very soft. The Lactul had soften the stools but not the one at the "doorway".

After that episode, I told my family about it all in our family Whatsapp group. And my sister suggested Mamil. She had done marketing for brands and knew it helps with sembelit. So I switched Mimi's formula to Mamil balik.
When we switched the milk, we were about to go on our family trip to UK. So I only brought a little for the whole trip and planned to breastfeed her more during our time there. Trust me, travel is so much easier when you are breastfeeding. You don't have to bring milk, warm water, etc.
But when we were there, Mimi drank quite a lot of the formula and it finished few days before we're due to go back home. So I breastfed her during that time.
Back home, we continued with formula & breastmilk. She still cannot give up the breastmilk fully.

However, last night for the first time ever, she lasted the whole day without breastfeeding and slept herself off without the need to bf! Yay!
Will I miss breastfeeding her? Errr...maybe not. Coz now I noticed that my breasts are not as full as before, I think because milk is starting to deplete and it hurts when she wants to breastfeed. So my breasts also is telling Mimi & me to stop the breastfeeding...
*It tells me secretively that it wants to get back into shape & breastfeeding is not helping her achieve that.*


Anyway, even on formula, I am positively sure that Mimi is pretty much Mommy's girl because sometimes when getting that bottle of milk, she will say to me, "Nak baring dgn Mama..."
Oh well.

Salam, Hi.
Yes people.
I am pregnant. 6 months to be exact.

Wasn't supposed to be pregnant.
We had lots of things planned out...
and one of it was to go for Umrah, and we had just fully paid when I found out about the pregnancy.
Even my body & mental state was not ready for pregnancy.
The moment I knew, I was down.
And even more down & stressed out when the sickness started.
This time, much much early.

I hated my pregnancy.
I wished that I wasn't pregnant...
and I wished that I don't have to go through the 10 months of carrying a bub in my tummy.
I wish that I had the baby magically appear in my arms without having to go through all the trouble.

I was so glad that Allah lifted most of my burden during my Umrah trip.
Mama & my cousin helped me a lot during the trip. not to mention FF was there too.
Back in Malaysia, before having enough rest, my Tok Bak passed away.
And we rushed to JB that weekend.

After JB, I started vomiting & having sickness again.
It sucked.
But I guess, I've gotten use to it.
I'm not 100% out of the sickness yet.
There are days which is bearable, there are days I feel like giving up.
Most days I feel like crying myself out of this sickness.
But I have come a long way.

This baby is special.
A lot of firsts during this pregnancy, a lot more struggle, there was a brush of death faced during the time in Madinah...
So, here's to hoping I can keep my patience for the next 3 months.
Insyallah.

Assalamualaikum,

Dah pun Friday lagi. Tinggal lagi 7 hari++ nak ke big day adik ipar aku.
Persiapan mmg dh start.
Khemah tgh pasang, org pelamin pun dh buat keje.
Awal kan?
Hmm..ade la cerita2 di sebalik keawalan diorg buat keje ni...tapi xde yg negatif ape pun.
Semua positif, a-okay je. =)

Bakal biras aku dh pun tinggal kat sini...so dh mmg mcm family habis la.
Kalau nak tau, 3 hari sebelum arwah meninggal hari tu, die masuk hospital.
Ligamen putus.
Haa...bayangkan, time tu lg 3 minggu nak kahwin, bole plak jadi mcm tu.
Kemudian, bakal bapak mentua meninggal pulak.
Mmg haru la.

Jadi, sebab die ni pun org jauh, kami suruh die tinggal je skali.
He needs full rest if he wants to be able to walk during the wedding, kata doctor.
Jadi MIL pun ckp biar je die duduk skali dgn kami, at least ade org bole tgk2 kan.
Skrg ni alhamdulillah, dh x payah pakai tongkat sgt.
Dah byk bole berjalan & duduk bersila pun no hal.
Tapi mmg nak kene operate tu nnt, nk mskkan artificial ligamen.
Lepas kahwin la kot.

Anyway, bakal biras & FF mmg sgt kamcing.
Dua2 pun gile Arsenal.
Yg time Arsenal dtg hrtu, die, FF, aku & Lulu gigih pegi meet & greet together.
And die ni pun lebih kurang sekepala jugak dgn kami..jadi xde masalah kat situ.
Kami mmg dh anggap die mcm family la.
Aku tgk die ni pun mmg sincere & mmg baik..
Skrg ni mane la ade ramai org yg mcm tu ye tak..

Haha..sebenarnye aku xtau nak tulis ape sgt pun.
Tu je la aku dpt tulis sbb dh seharian aku duk umah ni ngadap MIL & bakal biras aku tu je.
Ok lah..aku nak sambung keje yg terbengkalai ni.
Salam.

Assalamualaikum.

First of all, aku nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha buat semua.
Tahun lepas, aku sempat puasa di hari Arafah.
Tapi malangnya, tahun ni aku x sempat. =(

Alhamdulillah, Lulu baru baik demam.
Pagi2 tadi pukul 3 lebih die merengek2 x bole tido...
Akhirnya aku & FF bangun, bagi die minum, makan sikit,
pstu aku main2 dgn die sikit,
dlm pukul 4, die tido balik smpi skrg.

It's a bittersweet raya for aku, husband & in-laws.
Baru seminggu pemergian arwah ayah FF.
Bermakna, lg 2 hari jugak aku ada masa untuk spend dgn FF.
Dia cuti satu minggu ni, jadi aku banyak masa dengan dia & juga banyak perkara yg kami settlekan untuk family.

Bila dapat experience situasi mcm ni, aku pun berfikir perkara yg sama jika aku takde nnt.
Aku tidak mahu ada hutang yg bole menyusahkan family aku untuk membayarnya.
Dan aku harap bila time aku pergi, aku mahu pergi dalam keadaan aku yg paling baik;
dari segi ilmu, amal, fizikal, minda, dll.

Sekarang ni, aku agak rasa terkilan sikit sebab x dapat nak ke masjid sembahyang raya & ke kubur.
Seorang kawan berkata, itu pengorbanan seorang ibu.
Aku teringin jugak ke masjid & menziarah kubur (aku ke kubur hanya masa kebumi hari itu),
tapi demi jaga Lulu di rumah, aku biasanya tak pergi.

Ok, aku terpaksa berhenti di sini.
Kami mahu ke Seremban kerana lembu korban arwah telah dibawa ke sana.
Salam.
=)

Assalamualaikum.

Jumaat, 19 October 2012.
Pemergian ayah mertua aku iaitu ayah FF ke rahmatullah secara mengejut.
Tak disangka. Ketika kami menjalani kehidupan mcm biasa, ketika kami dalam mood persiapan kenduri kahwin adik FF tak lama lagi...ini terjadi.

Aku x prepare for anything worse sebab kebetulan aku & FF berada di KL.
Aku di rumah mama aku & FF di office.
Aku menerima panggilan dari adik ipar. Dia x dpt nak hubungi FF.
Aku call office sebab aku pun x dpt call phone FF. Dan kami bergegas.

Ketika kami dalam perjalanan ke hospital (kerana ayahnya dh dibawa ke hospital), FF beritahu dia dah expect for the worse. Dan apabila kami menerima berita pemergian (kami masih dalam perjalanan, lg sikit je nk sampai), FF menerima berita dgn tenang.

Ketika sampai, mak mertua memeluk aku dan aku pun menangis.
FF memegang tangan maknya, dia tenang.

Ketika kami di masjid, usai memandikan jenazah, kapan, sembahyang jumaat, sembahyang jenazah...aku lihat FF. Aku yg risau dan sedih bg pihak diri dia. FF masih kuat.
Ketika urusan jenazah utk dikebumikan, FF yg buat semua. Dia ok.

Aku lihat bakal biras aku menangis di sisi jenazah, aku lihat FF...tenang, ok.

Saat di kubur, aku lihat FF masuk ke liang lahad utk membawa jenazah ke dalam.
Dua rakan baiknya berada di sisi kubur, melihat FF juga.
Dia tenang.
Aku sebak, yg entah keberapa kali. Aku seperti tahu perasaan FF.
Ketika talkin dibacakan, ketika doa, ketika memberi ucap & menjemput hadirin ke rumah...FF sangat tenang.

Selesai di kubur, kami berkumpul di rumah.
Aku belum sempat berbicara panjang dgn FF. Dia sangat sibuk.
Kami cuma sempat berbicara hal2 yg berkaitan dgn urusan jenazah sahaja.
Kereta pun berlainan. Ke kubur, dia dgn van jenazah. Ke rumah, dia bawa kereta dan aku bersama kereta parents aku.
FF tiba di rumah, aku suruh dia mandi air panas kerana dia byk kene hujan td.
Selesai dia mandi & solat, aku perlu keluar untuk order makanan & beli minuman utk malam.

Kami x sempat memberitahu dgn kawan2 tentang hal ini.
FF cuma sempat beritahu 2 org rakan baiknya.
Selainnya, dpt tau dr social networking platform.
Termasuklah family aku, cousin aku semua...mereka dpt tau hanya dr social networking.
The power of social networking.

Aku sampai rumah selepas membeli apa yg patut, FF tiada.
Ke masjid utk solat & memberitahu imam masjid di seksyen kami serta jiran2 kami yg lain.
Balik masjid, FF berjumpa kawan2 yg dtg, sempat bergurau, sempat bercerita tentang kerjanya...
Aku lihat raut wajahnya tenang lagi.

Hingga ke lewat malam, FF sebagai ketua keluarga utama yg baru, menerima tetamu.
Jiran2, kawan2 arwah, kawan2 dia, client2 dia.
Dia melayan mereka seperti biasa.
Dia melayan kawan2nya seperti biasa...bergurau senda spt biasa.

Aku tahu, banyak yg difikirkan FF.
Dia dah menjadi tunggak utama keluarga.
Dan dia redha dgn pemergian ayahnya.
Dia dah tahu.
Dia dah selalu tahu, bahawa satu hari ini akan terjadi.
Jadi, dia tenang.

Aku kagum dgn kekuatan, kebolehan & ketenangan FF di saat begini.
Aku? Aku support, tongkat FF. Aku di sini utknya & membantu sedaya aku...utk FF.

May Allah bless FF father's soul in the hereafter.
Al-fatihah.

Assalamualaikum.

Ah, actually aku & FF baru saja menyambut ulangtahun perkahwinan kami yg ketiga Rabu lepas. Pejam celik kejap je dah 3 tahun..rsnye mcm baru 2 tahun huhu.

Alhamdulillah, aku rasa kami on the right track. Ada la jugak benda yg kami sacrifice, tapi I'm sure it will go the right way soon. Kene bersabar la.

Kami pun ada Lulu yg banyak menyerikan hidup kami. Tak sangka dah sampai di sini dah relationship ktrg. Daripada kenalan biasa, kepada kawan, kepada kekasih, kepada suami isteri and now dah jadi mommy & daddy. Aku berdoa hanya yang terbaik untuk kami & berharap Allah bukan saja memurahkan rezeki kami sekeluarga tapi menetapkan kebahagiaan dalam family kami juga. Selain tu, aku sentiasa meminta pada Allah utk mendekatkan kami pada-Nya.

Insya-Allah. =)

Happy 3rd Anniversary to us.
Love you my husband FF & love you my daughter Lulu. Muahhxx! =D

Assalamualaikum!

Alhamdulillah...kalau korg ingat post aku yg terdahulu, Amin + Sara = AA , kini lagi member ktrg dh selamat pulak.

Kitorang panggil dia Ikan je...xtau sbb ape, mungkin sebab mata&spek die yg besar kot. Dia dpt gelaran tu masa sekolah asrama dulu, mengikut FF la. Ikan ni antara yg rapat dgn kami sebab dia ni dulu satu sekolah asrama dgn FF & lepas tu, masuk UKM sama, pstu sama fakulti pulak tu.

So, anyway, dia telah berkahwin dalam 2 tahun lepas dgn gadis yg memikat hati dia masa matrik, Yah. Mmg diorg berdua ni suwiiitt sgt hehe. So, pada Sabtu lepas, Yah dah selamat melahirkan seorang baby girl yg teramat lah tembam di bahagian pipinye, secomel bapak & maknya. Nama? Ehem, Kaseh Kamelia. Fuh, terpegun aku mendengarnya heheheheh.

Jadi post ni sempena kelahiran baby mereka yg comel tu. Aku belum sempat visit lg sebab diorg kat Melaka & FF pun busy keje. Tapi gmbr mestilah dh tgk kan. Masing2 dh ade instagram woo.

Untuk Ikan & Yah, tahnniah sebesar2nya dari kami. Kami tumpang gembira sgt2.
Kesabaran yg agak besar diperlukan terutamanya bile kite raise anak sendiri...moga love between you both diperkuatkan dgn adenya Kaseh. It's a challenge but it's a good kind of challenge. =)


Til next entry.
Salam & good night.

Assalamualaikum...

Assalamualaikum.

Here we are again! Okay, sambung previous entry about the birthday celebration.

Aku & FF decided to buat small makan2 at a restaurant 2 weeks after her birthdate sbb parents aku pun time tu baru blk umrah. No plans whatsoever nak buat some sort of party la whatever.
Of course, it was very tempting nak buat a big celebration, but in the end we opt untuk tak melebih-lebih memandangkan Lulu pun baru setahun. Since keluarga FF pun x besar, so just among us family je la. Family aku & family dia.

Nak dijadikan cerita, few months before Lulu's birthday, ktrg ade gi travel to this one place la. And there, we found satu baju yg aku sukaaaaa sgt for her walaupun xde size yg ktrg nak, we bought je size yg ade at the time (we usually will buy her clothes yg a bit besar so that she can wear it longer). After that, we showed the baju to my mom and then she said that this could be her birthday theme. Ding dong! Flashbulb terus menyala! I thought, "Takpe la...even if ktrg x buat celebration yg vavavoom, bole je pakai untuk celebration dia yg lain." And there I was, after the decision nak buat makan2 family je, terbayang Lulu pakai baju tu for that makan2 session.

The days leading up to the birthday makan2 celebration, aku decide nak buat at least a little decoration surrounding the theme according to her baju. I did a lot of internet surfing later at night and tgk byk references. Byk aku dpt idea in the spur of the moment. And can you believe that semua deco2 tu siap the morning before her celebration? It was not much, but it's something.

Lepas tu, sampai je the place yg ktrg dh reserve, another last minute thing, beli few balloons. Just to make it more celebration-ny sikit. Hehe. Alhamdulillah, I felt puas. I don't need all the grandeur of a party but I felt puas buat all the deco sendiri in the span of 1 and a half day! Thank you Allah for giving me the ideas in such a short time & for it to be done so quickly. Thank you FF for doing all the printout work.

Enjoy some photos from the celebration/makan2 below. More pictures kat my fb. Xnak post gmbr2 lain sbb a bit private. =)
Oh, the birthday theme: Superheroes Birthday Celebration featuring Lulu as Supergirl!

"Each day has to be better than the last."
Easier said than done.

Nonetheless, I am in a transition phase.
Please pray for me.

So...dalam masa sebulan lebih ni aku bermastautin dekat umah Mama Abah aku.
Sampai bulan May.
Sebabnya? FF sedang dalam mode kursus.

Kebelakangan ni pun aku kurang nak sibuk berangkaian sosial ni.
Terlalu banyak benda yang menambahkan dosa aku. Huhu.
Bila sampai satu tahap yg you are getting too much dose of digital network, perlu ade detoxing of it now and then.
Social networking skrg dh menjadi satu platform utk org:
1. Menunjuk2 & bermegah2
2. Memaki tanpa hala tuju
3. Bercakap tentang perkara2 yang membuang masa.

Kalau dalam kadar yang berpatutan, ok la kot.
Tapi bila dah terlalu flood, org lain rasa muak.
Kdg2 aku pun muak dengan apa yg aku tulis...jadi bila dah mcm tu, detox!
Nasib baik aku ada kerja yg memerlukan konsentrasi.

Haih...melihat sekeliling, dunia ni dah menjadi terlalu kapitalis.
Mengambil kata FF, "Even Islam sells."
It's a sad sad world.

Saya rindu membaca coretan Khalifah Alam Maya...

Sedang bekerja buat masa ini...

Tak makan, susah...
Bila dah makan, macam nak muntah...

Tak minum, asyik dahaga
Dah minum, tekak rasa loya...

Perut dah besar
Bila lah baby nak keluar?

Hari ini, kawan aku bertunang.
Aku gembira...dah lame tunggu diorg ni nak ikat.
Sebab dua2 sama cantik, sama padan.

Shida & Atok,
Happy Engagement Day!!!
Korang kawen nanti mesti aku datang ok...bawak baby skali hehe
Nak ajar dia panggil Atok...Atok! Hehe.
Takpe...Shida, dia panggil Aunty je.

God bless you guys!
Barakallah!