on the Six

Salam, Hi.
Yes people.
I am pregnant. 6 months to be exact.

Wasn't supposed to be pregnant.
We had lots of things planned out...
and one of it was to go for Umrah, and we had just fully paid when I found out about the pregnancy.
Even my body & mental state was not ready for pregnancy.
The moment I knew, I was down.
And even more down & stressed out when the sickness started.
This time, much much early.

I hated my pregnancy.
I wished that I wasn't pregnant...
and I wished that I don't have to go through the 10 months of carrying a bub in my tummy.
I wish that I had the baby magically appear in my arms without having to go through all the trouble.

I was so glad that Allah lifted most of my burden during my Umrah trip.
Mama & my cousin helped me a lot during the trip. not to mention FF was there too.
Back in Malaysia, before having enough rest, my Tok Bak passed away.
And we rushed to JB that weekend.

After JB, I started vomiting & having sickness again.
It sucked.
But I guess, I've gotten use to it.
I'm not 100% out of the sickness yet.
There are days which is bearable, there are days I feel like giving up.
Most days I feel like crying myself out of this sickness.
But I have come a long way.

This baby is special.
A lot of firsts during this pregnancy, a lot more struggle, there was a brush of death faced during the time in Madinah...
So, here's to hoping I can keep my patience for the next 3 months.