Assalamualaikum,

Innalillahiwainnahirojiun.
Just heard that a friend's child has been diagnosed with diabetes type 1. His child is about the same age as Lulu. It was just sudden. The news is heartbreaking.
But what is more heart breaking is the next story he told. They were in ICU and the next bed was a baby who had severe denggi. That baby died afterwards.
Truly heart breaking. The mother was inconsolable. Obviously.
I straightaway imagined if these things happen to my girls. But I had to force myself not to.
I had to fight myself from crying when I think about these things.

Just a week ago, Lulu recovered from denggi. We believe that it was contracted while we were in Kota Tinggi for a wedding, after considering the timeline. She first had the fever the day we landed in Perth. The day after we arrived home, I took her to the clinic and the doctor tested her for denggi. It was positive.

The doctor said that we were lucky nothing bad happened while we were in Perth.
Allah is great. At the last minute, we asked my mom to follow us to Perth so when Lulu was down with fever, we had extra hands to take care of her. She was okay in the morning but as afternoon comes, she will get so weak.

When I heard about the baby, I immediately thought about Lulu and felt so thankful and grateful to Allah for keeping her safe. I thought about myself not being a good enough mother. I thought about death and the kids, and I'm scared. I won't be able to face it. I thought about death and FF and me, and I'm scared too. I feel like I'm not fit to be in heaven and I'll surely go to hell. And then I thought about who will take care of the kids?

I try as much as I can to not be too worldly. Often, I feel like what matters is life. As much as we all want to be rich, the utmost important thing is our happiness in life. Having a lot of money will not bring you happiness if it cannot keep you happy and content. I ask Allah to give me & my family the best life for us..I just want to be content. I do ask for more rezeki from Him, but I also want Him to not give me too much if it means I will stray further away from Him.

Right now, the most precious rezeki Allah has given me is all of my family; parents, siblings, husband, kids, grandmother, etc. I can't imagine losing them, at all.

Okay, tears threatening to fall. Bye.

Assalamualaikum,

These few days I came back to my guitar. I miss playing it and suddenly I remembered one of the best times I had playing guitar. It was during my studies in UKM, when I took Modern Music as my co-curriculum subject.

We performed many songs on stage as a group and because I was the only girl playing guitar in the band plus I guess mainly because our vocalist who was so good looking, we became somewhat well known. I love being in the class because our teacher (for goodness me I can't remember his name) is really a talented person.

I was then at the same time playing guitar for the university's theater club. It was kind of a coincidence of how I began participating in theater. Abang Bob/Pisang actually is the one responsible. He saw me one day playing the guitar on stage during rehearsal for an event and approached me asking if I want to join theater. Although I was quite taken aback, but I did go to one theater session and I then found myself a member of Kelab Teater Rimba, apparently one of the famous theater club in Malaysia (mainly because of its founder, Bung Kancil).

Anyway, back to the music, the best moment of it all is during the final test. Besides the theory test, we have to do a practical test. Which is, performing. And the hardest song that we have to do was Relaku Pujuk by Spider. This song during that time, was a hit and everyone knows this song. We nailed the rhythm guitar quite easily. Then, me & the other guitarist had to find the tab for intro & solo. When we finally able to fit in the piece by piece of the tabs, I was given the lead guitar. Wow!

I was not as good as the other guitarist, but I think the instructor wants to showcase my talent & partly because I nailed the solo tab easily. And also, maybe since I am a female guitarist, if he gives me the lead and I nailed it, we easily can get A for this subject (in terms of practical).

I however, was having a bit of trouble with the intro. I practice and practice but occasionally I still slip. Up to the point when the other guitarist offered to do the intro if I am not confident to deliver it perfectly on that day. Thus, that became plan B. So, I practiced so much to make sure I do it perfectly. It all depends on me getting the intro perfect.

On that day, I was nervous but at the same time I have that feeling of excited-ness. I am performing for perhaps the last time with these guys (some of the band members are on their last year in UKM), so I want us all to get A. It was thrilling.

We performed other songs first. Relaku Pujuk was our last song. I was nervous as we waited for our drummer's queue for my intro. Really nervous. I remember I took a breath and let it out. And did the intro...and...nailed it! The feeling of relief! As soon as I got through the intro, rhythm guitar and me looked at each other with a look that says, "Yes, we passed that! Let's rock this show to the end!"

Needless to say, We Rock.

Assalamualaikum,

A yearly entry dedication to us, me & FF. Our anniversary is today! We have been married for 6 years already! Alhamdulillah. Throughout these 6 years, I think there was a year when it was especially hard for us. Becoming a first time mother & housewife, I even stopped taking photos for a while...FF busy with work and we kind off lost a bit of communication. Then when we were starting to get a hang of things, I became pregnant with Mimi. Since both pregnancies were hard & harder with Mimi, you can imagine how 'chaos' our life become. But Allah is great. Our doa is heard and our relationship is better than ever now. I could never be grateful enough with what Allah has blessed us.


For FF,
Thank you for being my soulmate. Thank you for sharing my dreams and aspirations. Thank you for always making me laugh with your antiques. Thank you for supporting me in all kind of situations especially the hard ones.
Love is always a journey & work to be better with one another.
These past years have been nothing but amazing with you and the kids. Mmg byk yg agak limited and menguji kesabaran when you have small kids on tow tapi that is part of life kan.
We have so much to achieve in the future, the most important being to get closer to the path of Allah SWT.
Let's do that while also go to places & various stadiums together.
Love you with all of my heart. Saranghae!
(queue lagu GDxTaeyang Good Boy sambil buat dance dia, our inside joke haha)

*warning* Lots of photos below.

Kids being so manja with Daddy.

Here is our most recent photo together, during the Bukit Tabur hike. After 4 years, now we finally are able to have lots of time just the two of us. Occasionally, we cannot escape the kids trap though.


 So, to end this post, I want to dedicate lagu Gary & Jung In - Bicycle to FF.
Let's love til the end of time. Sampai syurga. Amin.

Salam.

Been a while eh?
Anyway, it's the 10th! Me & FF's anniversary!
For the moment, we're not in the mood of celebrating it yet...too much going on.
Had the 2nd baby in July, then me back to work (rezeki datang alhamdulillah), FF with his IPOs, team buildings, exam...etc etc.

Our 4 years of marriage, I wouldn't say it is all smooth sailing. We had our share of quarrels the past years...I think more so after we had Lulu. Then, when we started to get our groove back, I got pregnant again. And now, things are a lot different than last time. This time, FF works...like the average people. So, a lot of difference between first pregnancy & the 2nd. I also didn't have much help this time, in pantang, after pantang and even now. Because FF wants me to do confinement in our home, means I have to take care of baby & me, myself. Moreover, 2nd baby a bit more demanding...and challenging.

Nowadays, FF always merungut that I don't spend enough time caring for him...which also always annoys me everytime he utters this.
My time are spent. Each and every day for the babies, that I don't even have enough time for myself.
Even if I have time, I spend it on doing my work.
A lot of times I longed for some hours to myself. Just to relax and be with myself...
But I guess mothers never get to relax. Even when you are out alone, all you think of is your babies.

So, for our 4th anniversary, I don't want anything materialistic I guess. I just wish that FF would give me a break. For him to understand that staying home with the babies is hard work. That I have been attending them all day and would like him to take over at night. Bond with them while he's at it. I wish that he'd understand the sacrifices we have to make. And although there is "Penat" in the kamus, we just cannot succumb to it all the time.

I hope FF truly knows that I support him in his love for his career, and encourage him to expand his knowledges & skills. Yes, it has taken much of his time away from family, but I understand that he found his passion. And I believe as a grown man, he is able to plan his time & be responsible too.

I pray that the Almighty bless us family with lots of love for each other and for Him.
I pray that whatever comes, He will guide & help us go through it.
I pray that He'll keep my family save, especially my children.
I pray that me & FF's love will stay forever.

Assalamualaikum.

Ah, actually aku & FF baru saja menyambut ulangtahun perkahwinan kami yg ketiga Rabu lepas. Pejam celik kejap je dah 3 tahun..rsnye mcm baru 2 tahun huhu.

Alhamdulillah, aku rasa kami on the right track. Ada la jugak benda yg kami sacrifice, tapi I'm sure it will go the right way soon. Kene bersabar la.

Kami pun ada Lulu yg banyak menyerikan hidup kami. Tak sangka dah sampai di sini dah relationship ktrg. Daripada kenalan biasa, kepada kawan, kepada kekasih, kepada suami isteri and now dah jadi mommy & daddy. Aku berdoa hanya yang terbaik untuk kami & berharap Allah bukan saja memurahkan rezeki kami sekeluarga tapi menetapkan kebahagiaan dalam family kami juga. Selain tu, aku sentiasa meminta pada Allah utk mendekatkan kami pada-Nya.

Insya-Allah. =)

Happy 3rd Anniversary to us.
Love you my husband FF & love you my daughter Lulu. Muahhxx! =D

Assalamualaikum...

Assalamualaikum.

Here we are again! Okay, sambung previous entry about the birthday celebration.

Aku & FF decided to buat small makan2 at a restaurant 2 weeks after her birthdate sbb parents aku pun time tu baru blk umrah. No plans whatsoever nak buat some sort of party la whatever.
Of course, it was very tempting nak buat a big celebration, but in the end we opt untuk tak melebih-lebih memandangkan Lulu pun baru setahun. Since keluarga FF pun x besar, so just among us family je la. Family aku & family dia.

Nak dijadikan cerita, few months before Lulu's birthday, ktrg ade gi travel to this one place la. And there, we found satu baju yg aku sukaaaaa sgt for her walaupun xde size yg ktrg nak, we bought je size yg ade at the time (we usually will buy her clothes yg a bit besar so that she can wear it longer). After that, we showed the baju to my mom and then she said that this could be her birthday theme. Ding dong! Flashbulb terus menyala! I thought, "Takpe la...even if ktrg x buat celebration yg vavavoom, bole je pakai untuk celebration dia yg lain." And there I was, after the decision nak buat makan2 family je, terbayang Lulu pakai baju tu for that makan2 session.

The days leading up to the birthday makan2 celebration, aku decide nak buat at least a little decoration surrounding the theme according to her baju. I did a lot of internet surfing later at night and tgk byk references. Byk aku dpt idea in the spur of the moment. And can you believe that semua deco2 tu siap the morning before her celebration? It was not much, but it's something.

Lepas tu, sampai je the place yg ktrg dh reserve, another last minute thing, beli few balloons. Just to make it more celebration-ny sikit. Hehe. Alhamdulillah, I felt puas. I don't need all the grandeur of a party but I felt puas buat all the deco sendiri in the span of 1 and a half day! Thank you Allah for giving me the ideas in such a short time & for it to be done so quickly. Thank you FF for doing all the printout work.

Enjoy some photos from the celebration/makan2 below. More pictures kat my fb. Xnak post gmbr2 lain sbb a bit private. =)
Oh, the birthday theme: Superheroes Birthday Celebration featuring Lulu as Supergirl!

Assalamualaikum.

Actually, Lulu's birthday has passed 2 months ago. Tapi of course, I purposely didn't blog it. Ah, at that time pun I was quite uninterested to blog sgt. Anyhow, aku mmg xde plan apa2 pun for her birthday initially. Even for the occasion, I was having a dilemma whether to throw a party or not. Biase lah, social network punye penangan, semua anak2 zaman sekarang xnk kalah die punye celebration ye tak.

When it got closer to Lulu's birthday, aku tiba2 dapat idea nak buat satu sort of countdown menuju ke birthdate die. I called it "Lulu 1-Year-Old Project".

So, what is the project? The project is, starting dalam 12 hari sebelum her actual birthday; setiap hari aku akan post collage of her photos starting from the 1st month to the 12th month. I did and posted it on fb & instagram. Caption photo aku letak countdown how many days to go to the Big 1.

So, these are some of the photos. Gambar kecik sebab copyrighted ya. Hehe.





 12th month spesel sikit sbb dilancarkan masa birthday die, so ade 2 gambar hehe.

And to end the Lulu 1-Year-Old project, the birthday wish collage, starting from the 1st month to 12th.



Birthday celebration pulak kitorg buat 2 weekends after that coz my parents just got back from umrah. And also, last minute ade tukar plan sikit. Nak tau? Kene stay tune next entry! =)